Negativity came at me from many directions this week, especially today (which I thought was going to be a good day). It was all I could do to keep my chin up and maintain a smile on my face. How can people be so cruel to somebody whom they supposedly love/are friends with? I know the best way to deal with this is to let it go over my head and not get upset, but that's easier said than done. I shouldn't let these things get to me, especially when some people are just joking; they probably expect me to take these things as a joke too. I find that if I do force these things to go over my head, I'll forget about it in a little while. That's best. It's just... it kind of hurts. A little bit. I know I've hurt people in the past - most of the time entirely accidental and merely a joke - and people can't always be so goody-goody to each other. That's a fact. The thing is, when the negativity is repeated and the person knows what he/she's saying is hurtful... how can I keep such a negative person in my life?
My head hurts and there's a lump in my throat... a hot shower and comfortable bed should make me feel better.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
classes
GRADES COME OUT IN 10 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
at 8am tomorrow.
I'm hoping for straight A's, but that seems doubtful... so this is what I think my grades might be.
Art 14 (color) - A-, probably. I messed up a bit on the final vocab quiz and I got a B+ on my last project and I didn't do extra credit... but I did participate a lot.
Art 13 (3-d) - OMG I am between B+ and A- in this class. Well, Tracy said that I def. got an A on my last project and I think I did well on my vocab quiz... so maybe an A-? :D
Art 01 - no sweat. it's a pass/no pass class. However I missed the maximum amount of notecards that we can miss in order to pass the class, so if the prof. counted my notecards incorrectly, I'm going to have to retake the class again. Haha. Darn.
Art History - I HOPE I got at least an A-. I got an A on my 5pg paper (95%!!!). He said he gave A's to only a few people, a few A-'s, more B's, and a whole bunch of C's. Thank goodness; I worked my butt off for that paper. I didn't do extremely well on the final, so this is a toss-up...
Creative Writing - I kept missing reading quizzes bc I didn't do the reading, haha. bad... but I did pretty well on the poetry final. For the final, all we have to do is prepare a packet of three poems and our revised self-portraits. I had an interesting topic for the poem I read (we have to stand in front of the class and read one of our poems "with feeling"), but I sure as heck am not going to reveal the topic here. So I will venture... a B+?
Social Problems - B. I don't even care about this class because the professor doesn't care either. Honestly, I couldn't care less if I don't get an A in this class. I didn't try in this class AT ALL. I'll be mad if I get a B or lower in my art classes because I worked my butt off in those classes, but I'll have to admit: For this class, I did squat.
Away from grades for a minute... I was talking to Diane about how a mutual friend's blog is so obviously self-absorbed. Then I realized that personal blogs ARE essentially self-absorbed, because the content is on the person's own life. My blog is definitely self-absorbed; I'm always complaining and/or worried or something. I'm always self-conscious that I'll sound too conceited or MEMEME in my blog, but why fight it, you know? As long as I'm not bragging about myself in every other sentence, right? Or not sounding like I'm using my blog to brag about my accomplishments? Oh well, whatever. Not like people other than close friends are reading my blog :D I shouldn't feel like I'm getting judged.
Anyway, for my fall semester, I chose a tentative schedule:
at 8am tomorrow.
I'm hoping for straight A's, but that seems doubtful... so this is what I think my grades might be.
Art 14 (color) - A-, probably. I messed up a bit on the final vocab quiz and I got a B+ on my last project and I didn't do extra credit... but I did participate a lot.
Art 13 (3-d) - OMG I am between B+ and A- in this class. Well, Tracy said that I def. got an A on my last project and I think I did well on my vocab quiz... so maybe an A-? :D
Art 01 - no sweat. it's a pass/no pass class. However I missed the maximum amount of notecards that we can miss in order to pass the class, so if the prof. counted my notecards incorrectly, I'm going to have to retake the class again. Haha. Darn.
Art History - I HOPE I got at least an A-. I got an A on my 5pg paper (95%!!!). He said he gave A's to only a few people, a few A-'s, more B's, and a whole bunch of C's. Thank goodness; I worked my butt off for that paper. I didn't do extremely well on the final, so this is a toss-up...
Creative Writing - I kept missing reading quizzes bc I didn't do the reading, haha. bad... but I did pretty well on the poetry final. For the final, all we have to do is prepare a packet of three poems and our revised self-portraits. I had an interesting topic for the poem I read (we have to stand in front of the class and read one of our poems "with feeling"), but I sure as heck am not going to reveal the topic here. So I will venture... a B+?
Social Problems - B. I don't even care about this class because the professor doesn't care either. Honestly, I couldn't care less if I don't get an A in this class. I didn't try in this class AT ALL. I'll be mad if I get a B or lower in my art classes because I worked my butt off in those classes, but I'll have to admit: For this class, I did squat.
Away from grades for a minute... I was talking to Diane about how a mutual friend's blog is so obviously self-absorbed. Then I realized that personal blogs ARE essentially self-absorbed, because the content is on the person's own life. My blog is definitely self-absorbed; I'm always complaining and/or worried or something. I'm always self-conscious that I'll sound too conceited or MEMEME in my blog, but why fight it, you know? As long as I'm not bragging about myself in every other sentence, right? Or not sounding like I'm using my blog to brag about my accomplishments? Oh well, whatever. Not like people other than close friends are reading my blog :D I shouldn't feel like I'm getting judged.
Anyway, for my fall semester, I chose a tentative schedule:
2-D Concepts, Beginning Drawing, Beginning Photography, Child Development, Weather and Climate. Nice and fun classes :D Exactly 18 units.
I've decided to go for my BFA in Graphic Design (Bachelor of Fine Arts). It's basically more intensive than the BA and I have to take more art classes, thus 5 years instead of the typical 4 years of college. Then, because I'm going to go for five years, the plan requires me to go for at least 12 units a semester instead of the 16 units/sem for four years. I might as well double-minor!! heehee. Or double major!!! But in what? I'm thinking photography/animation/interior design/architecture/communications/creative writing/etc. No more psychology/sociology, because after taking Social Problems, I discovered that I have no interest in sociology. Couldn't care less about the class. Ahhh...thank goodness for GE's.
This summer, I'll be taking two GE classes at SJCC - Oral Communication and American History. Meh. They sound boring, but oh well.
NINE MORE HOURS
Sunday, May 17, 2009
ART HISTORY
WOW i had a crazy dream that I almost failed my art history final. It was nighttime, raining, and I was on the bus on my way to PHHS for badminton. I got to school, went into the bathroom, and started to change into my badmin junk. I had on a lot of sweaters (it was cold and rainy, and really hot in the gym) so I kept pulling them off. I realized that I was wearing a tanktop that had my 5-pg paper (for art history) written on it. I was like OMG, WHAT AM I DOING AT BADMINTON!!! I NEED TO TURN THIS IN or i'm going to fail. So I hop back on the bus to go to school, and I arrive at the end of the final. My professor sets up a meeting for people who need to beg to take the make-up final and turn in their papers, and I join the meeting. When he comes to me, I explain that I'd completely forgotten and I really wanted to get an A in the class. After testing me on a few paintings, he lets me proceed to take the test.
Then I wake up and run off to study immediately :(
Then I wake up and run off to study immediately :(
Friday, May 15, 2009
finished!
MY ART PROJECTS ARE OFFICIALLY DONE
I made a bow+arrow+stand set for my final 3DConcepts project. heh heh. It can actually shoot! I carried it home on the bus today and I got a lot of weird stares+comments. Oh well...
I thought it would be easy to make, but it was kind of frustrating--especially with the magnets and stuff. Speaking about magnets, I attached a whole string of them to my bow stand but they all disappeared. Hmm.
frustrated
being a freak
now, all I have to worry about is art history. Perhaps social problems? nahhh.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
davis dual-meet
I have been having strange dreams lately.
1) Last week I dreamed that I painted a large depiction of a tulip. The colors of the tulip were monochrome and desaturated--sort of like sepia-toned. Apparently it was hanging in a student gallery in SJSU, and two wealthy old white women viewed it and loved it immediately--so much that they offered me $25,000 for it!!! lol. I was so happy and excited. Anyway, for some reason my family and the two women and I went out to eat at a fancy restaurant to celebrate my painting sale. Halfway through the dinner, my mom started badmouthing me to the old women. After hearing so much bad stuff about me, they decided not to buy my painting after all. :( :( :( :( :( :(:( :( :( :( :( what a horrible dream..haha.
2) Last night I dreamed that I was walking on the road. The beach was a distance off to my right, and the sky was an intense combination of colors-- bright reds, oranges, pinks, and purples all streaming into the dark blue of the night sky. It was a color explosion and I just had to take a picture... but unfortunately I didn't have my camera. I ran off to find it, which took forever... I ran back to the beach to take my pictures, and luckily the colors were still there, albeit a touch darker.
So... I guess we do dream in color!
Well, anyway.. yesterday I spent my Saturday with the SJSU badmin ppl for the Davis dual meet. It was actually not as bad as I thought; I met some pretty cool and nice people. I played mixed (changed at the last minute from singles) with a senior guy who covered a ton of my shots. heehee. We won that game. Then I played doubles with Jenny, which we lost. The girls weren't bad, but not undefeatable; Meiyi and I would probably have beaten them by just clearing to them. I guess Jenny and I were both still tired from our games--my mixed one, and her singles one. Overall, we lost 5-6 to Davis.
It's really tough switching from plastic to feather. I would smash the feather bird, and it'd go totally out or into the net. I would drop, and the feather bird wouldn't go over. I would clear, and it would go several feet out. Geez. Along with birdie difficulties and the fact that we play to 21 points, I feel like I'm a freshman JV player all over again. But oh well...
When we went home, I switched cars because I needed to get home earlier and Jenny was staying for a few more hours. It was such an awkward ride because 1) other than the driver guy, the other two girls basically ignored me, and 2) one girl kept talking the entire two hours, making snotty, rude comments about people driving next to us (there was a half-hour traffic jam). It was unbelievable. Maybe that's how she just is, but she was just... unbelievably immature and stuck on herself being better than anyone else. "Oh, my God. Is that guy listening to MEXICAN music?" (Why should you care what he listens to?) "I lost to a girl named Fanny. If I had a name like that, I'd change it immediately. Why the **** would you want to be called Fanny?" (Um, my cousin's name is Fanny. If you don't like it, move on. Geez.) "With a traffic jam this bad, there had better be an oil spill."
Two hours of torture listening to this girl spout her mouth like an arrogant ten-year-old kid...luckily I fell asleep for half an hour. I know I can't judge her after only two hours stuck in the same car with her, but she seriously gets on my nerves. Whatever. Maybe she's just callous like that. I have better people to talk to.
1) Last week I dreamed that I painted a large depiction of a tulip. The colors of the tulip were monochrome and desaturated--sort of like sepia-toned. Apparently it was hanging in a student gallery in SJSU, and two wealthy old white women viewed it and loved it immediately--so much that they offered me $25,000 for it!!! lol. I was so happy and excited. Anyway, for some reason my family and the two women and I went out to eat at a fancy restaurant to celebrate my painting sale. Halfway through the dinner, my mom started badmouthing me to the old women. After hearing so much bad stuff about me, they decided not to buy my painting after all. :( :( :( :( :( :(:( :( :( :( :( what a horrible dream..haha.
2) Last night I dreamed that I was walking on the road. The beach was a distance off to my right, and the sky was an intense combination of colors-- bright reds, oranges, pinks, and purples all streaming into the dark blue of the night sky. It was a color explosion and I just had to take a picture... but unfortunately I didn't have my camera. I ran off to find it, which took forever... I ran back to the beach to take my pictures, and luckily the colors were still there, albeit a touch darker.
So... I guess we do dream in color!
Well, anyway.. yesterday I spent my Saturday with the SJSU badmin ppl for the Davis dual meet. It was actually not as bad as I thought; I met some pretty cool and nice people. I played mixed (changed at the last minute from singles) with a senior guy who covered a ton of my shots. heehee. We won that game. Then I played doubles with Jenny, which we lost. The girls weren't bad, but not undefeatable; Meiyi and I would probably have beaten them by just clearing to them. I guess Jenny and I were both still tired from our games--my mixed one, and her singles one. Overall, we lost 5-6 to Davis.
It's really tough switching from plastic to feather. I would smash the feather bird, and it'd go totally out or into the net. I would drop, and the feather bird wouldn't go over. I would clear, and it would go several feet out. Geez. Along with birdie difficulties and the fact that we play to 21 points, I feel like I'm a freshman JV player all over again. But oh well...
When we went home, I switched cars because I needed to get home earlier and Jenny was staying for a few more hours. It was such an awkward ride because 1) other than the driver guy, the other two girls basically ignored me, and 2) one girl kept talking the entire two hours, making snotty, rude comments about people driving next to us (there was a half-hour traffic jam). It was unbelievable. Maybe that's how she just is, but she was just... unbelievably immature and stuck on herself being better than anyone else. "Oh, my God. Is that guy listening to MEXICAN music?" (Why should you care what he listens to?) "I lost to a girl named Fanny. If I had a name like that, I'd change it immediately. Why the **** would you want to be called Fanny?" (Um, my cousin's name is Fanny. If you don't like it, move on. Geez.) "With a traffic jam this bad, there had better be an oil spill."
Two hours of torture listening to this girl spout her mouth like an arrogant ten-year-old kid...luckily I fell asleep for half an hour. I know I can't judge her after only two hours stuck in the same car with her, but she seriously gets on my nerves. Whatever. Maybe she's just callous like that. I have better people to talk to.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
grades outlook
Today I went up to my huge locker (it can fit my badminton bag, two bows I'm working on, two huge drawing paper pads, a jacket, a scarf, an umbrella, my lunch, and so much more LOL) on the 2nd floor. As I put away my books, I suddenly hear my art history prof's voice. Turns out his office is right across the hall from my locker. Anyway, I decide to linger outside the office and give him an impromptu visit to ask about my grades. After a girl comes out, I go in and talk to him. So in order to get an A in the class, I have to get at least 90% on both the 5-pg paper and the final exam... gaaaaaaaaah. Luckily I went to all the classes so he'll boost my grade if I get a B+. heheh. Dangit, I foresee a lot of studying.
Speaking of grades... I got my first A+ in Color!
shameless bragging
it was an assignment where we had to use optical mixing, like really small dots of color
It was fun...but wasted a lot of paint.
I need a guy to fix my computer. Spyware+malware+virii all over the place.
Friday, May 1, 2009
nearing the close
Finals are coming up... projects and papers are swarming in like crazy. I've got to put together two portfolios, finish my blog entries for art13 (not bad, these are kind of fun), complete two more art14 projects, one more art13 project, re-do another art13 proj, write two papers for social problems (these will be super easy), and write a 5-pg paper for art history (not so easy...).
I got an A- on my midterm for art history!!!! I'm especially happy because my professor said that if 1) we attend all lectures and 2) score a whole letter grade higher on the 2nd midterm than the 1st midterm, he will decrease the weight of the first midterm from 20% to 10%. Sorry if that was confusing.. but that just means my first midterm (a B-, ugh) will be worth less in my final grade! I totally was not expecting to get 91%... but technically I didn't really, heheh. I actually got 84%, but he curved it for our class to 88%, and THEN he brought up everyone's grades by 3% because he saw that the other classes did so poorly. Thus... 91% :D I guess all that studying really did help. But there's still the final, which is going to be much harder than the midterms... so I will be studying for the full week beforehand again, I guess? I don't think I will get an A overall, but at least I might be able to scrape a B+.
OMG GRRRRRRRRRR I KEEP GETTING A POP UP LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It'll pop up RIGHT in the middle of my typing, so I'll miss a whole sentence of typing when that happens. Plus, it really slows down my computer when the stupid ad tries to pop up. WHERE'S MY POP UP BLOCKER
anyway.
I'm going to be playing doubles with Jenny and singles (ugh..........................) in the sjsu-davis meet on May 9th. dangit. I definitely don't mind playing doubles, but SINGLES? Hello incoming bagel...lol. I would play mixed instead of singles, but the positions are already taken and Danny's injured so he doesn't come to the practices. Oh well... more exercise for me, yeah??
my shirt!
a cool cloud
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