Tuesday, February 23, 2010

judgmental

it's not fair to judge someone before you even get to know the person. to hear one side of the story and judge that person... you don't even get to hear that person's side of the story.

i should have expected this, but i was too caught up in my bubble to notice that malevolent one just beyond my sight.

//over two years later, so i realize what's been happening.

you, who have always been friendly to me. spreading terrible rumors about me around and glorifying your status. how can i look or speak to you in the same way?

it's so weird how i've never noticed. i might have heard a whisper or two the first week, but really i didn't expect to hear about all this over two years later.

the people i've barely even spoken to... barely even met... have prejudged notions of me.

i would like to correct them, but why should i waste my time dealing with judgmental people?

if you are not willing to take the time to get to know me, instead dwelling on preconceived notions of me, then i should not even bother to involve you in my life.

//but it just hurts that you, a person i've always thought of as a good friend, would go behind my back.

i don't know how many you've told, but total count that i've encountered in the past few months? definitely more than a few.

this actually upsets me more than i've let on to other people. really though, i shouldn't care...why care?

because it's just not fair.

c'est la vie.

i know what i did in the end was wrong, but you should reconsider what you did (and told me) too. i was honest to you from the start about how i felt and i hoped you could accept that. maybe i should have more sense to say no; things like this don't ever turn out well. as we both found out the hard way.

in the end, we both erred.

2 comments:

Candice said...

In some cases like these ignorance is bliss...

Either way I hope you'll be able to move on from this. Things like that tend to happen and the best thing you can do is try to reason things out and then move on no matter the result.

Jessica said...

thanks candice! yeah you're totally right. ignorance is bliss... but i'm glad i know what's been going on now. i didn't even know there was a problem until recently, so now if i want to move forward, i should find a solution.