I am no longer confused :) Things are turning out well and I hope it continues to get better.
This week has been so long! Today especially. I had an allnighter on Sunday (did a photoshoot the entire day on Sunday) painting an assignment for 2D. It got a very good reception, so I'm happy... but I could have improved the craftsmanship and paint application.
Today: hurried to the print shop before class at 8:30, printed out my pattern thing, went to 2D. An hour and a half standing up examining patterns! My eyes were swimming.
Searched for the photo print shop (Foto Express) right after I got out of 2D. 11am-11:30. Finally I found it, got my photos ready to print, and hurried off to meet Pickle for my appt at noon. We had a good talk about my grades and I know what to do to get my A now. For a beginning photo prof, he grades very hard!! It feels more like intermediate photo, or an advanced art class. I try so hard for this class it isn't even funny. Well, at 12:30 we finished our meeting, and I sprinted off to Foto Express to pick up my prints. $15 for three spectacular prints. Thank you Foto Express! I love the quality of your prints. Walgreen's has nothing on you!! I sprinted back to class and got back at 12:50. My photo class is on the 4th floor of Duncan Hall, which is a building all the way on the other side of campus from Foto Express. Tiring!
Well, I am way too tired to type any more. I'm in thel ibrary so I might as well go home and rest up.
quick snapshot though!
- Abercrombie model! I thought that print was the best out of the three. Too bad I left Suzie's photo with Alex... I really regretted putting up that brighter pic of her because it didn't go with my series.
- I think I did the right thing :)
- I should stop drinking milk tea...
- I have a job now! My new manager seems really nice. yay
- Franny and I want to audition for choir! haha well, actually I'm trying to get him to audition with me. Just for fun... it'll be fun :)
- Stupid SJCC transcript... stupid SJSU!
- I hope I get the classes I want. If I don't, I probably won't be able to assistant coach for Piedmont.
- Speaking of badminton, I am getting super rusty.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A snapshot of my brain
Random thoughts off the top of my head.
+ Tommy Hilfiger interview on friday :) Can't wait to work again!
+ My current 2Dconcepts and past ColorTheory prof asked me to give her my old assignment so she could use it as an "amazing" example for her color class! Flattered!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLfFLsrnZuoClXFpjtFPDyNvIZxdT2oXbPFHB7Ni885p1bNrmvEBodSu9F44fMZOLJqBz_uR7OM-qIoH0lOmUfJv93LVSVX-X8LqpBU9Q24Wr92KBo5gp2e_IRBGdFZXSq2A4OazeK8ejM/s320/P1010805
+ I need to practice badminton and get back in shape. Deteriorating...
+ Finished homework early tonight! Yay!
+ Gotta get up earlier tomorrow or I'll make my mom late again :(
+ How do I really feel about this?
+ Don't like my sport photography photos.
+ I should clean my room.
+ Haven't gone shopping in forever!!
+ Can't wait to start photoshooting!
+ I love hanging out with my SJSU buddies. Movie nights and boba anonymous...
+ Santa Cruz tree 9 photoshoot! Can I climb the tree with a DSLR around my neck?
+ 2D hw is always tedious and difficult for me. Color was much more preferable.
+ I want to take voice next semester but that'd be weird without a buddy, lol
+ Girl talk with a guy is always nice
+ Should REALLY clean my room.
+ Too much candy intake!!!!
+ Tommy Hilfiger interview on friday :) Can't wait to work again!
+ My current 2Dconcepts and past ColorTheory prof asked me to give her my old assignment so she could use it as an "amazing" example for her color class! Flattered!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLfFLsrnZuoClXFpjtFPDyNvIZxdT2oXbPFHB7Ni885p1bNrmvEBodSu9F44fMZOLJqBz_uR7OM-qIoH0lOmUfJv93LVSVX-X8LqpBU9Q24Wr92KBo5gp2e_IRBGdFZXSq2A4OazeK8ejM/s320/P1010805
+ I need to practice badminton and get back in shape. Deteriorating...
+ Finished homework early tonight! Yay!
+ Gotta get up earlier tomorrow or I'll make my mom late again :(
+ How do I really feel about this?
+ Don't like my sport photography photos.
+ I should clean my room.
+ Haven't gone shopping in forever!!
+ Can't wait to start photoshooting!
+ I love hanging out with my SJSU buddies. Movie nights and boba anonymous...
+ Santa Cruz tree 9 photoshoot! Can I climb the tree with a DSLR around my neck?
+ 2D hw is always tedious and difficult for me. Color was much more preferable.
+ I want to take voice next semester but that'd be weird without a buddy, lol
+ Girl talk with a guy is always nice
+ Should REALLY clean my room.
+ Too much candy intake!!!!
Loss of innocence
Very confused about recent developments. Should I stick to what I really want, or to what everyone else wants/already approves of?
Of course if I phrase it like that, people are going to tell me to stick to what I want. However, if I did, that would be an incredibly selfish act. Doing what I want isn't necessarily the best choice. I would probably inconvenience and/or hurt other people.
In the end, is it best that I strive to make others happy, but reassure myself with a lie? Or should I be honest with myself at the risk of inconveniencing and harming others?
Just something running at the back of my mind.
++ I have to remind myself that 95% of the people in the world are honest good people. Encountering deceitful people certainly makes it seem like that deviant 5% of the population makes up the whole world.
At Smash City, I was reserving a court for Ian, Bryan, and Chris. Bryan had gone to change and the other two had gone to get water. I was standing on the court, practicing my serves, when two big Indian dudes came up to me.
I recognized them from the summer, when we came often to Smash City. I had played with them and their other friend before, and they'd cracked sick jokes that I awkwardly laughed off.
Awkward moment over the summer:
*Mustache dude points to short dude* "He said you would marry me if we win this match!" Thankfully that was the only time I played with them.
Anyway, they came up to me. Mustache dude pointed at the sign on the court: "Training is at 4:00. It's 4:30 now. Sorry, but this court is reserved for training."
"Oh?" I said, stupidly. "Okay...um..." And then I got off the court.
Which I really regret. I wish instead I'd stuck around and asked where their coach was, where their fellow trainees were, etc.
Sneaky, sly way to steal a court from a girl when the entire gym is packed. The validity of the sign made me believe the guys enough to get off the court, but as soon as I walked off, suspicion alarms went off in my head.
Anyway, a while after that, the two dudes spotted a better court next to the one they'd stolen from me. Mustache dude turned to me and said, "You can use the court now."
Thanks.
++ Why didn't I argue? I didn't want to raise a scene just for possession of a court. Besides, the two of them were huge and burly. I will just know better next time.
It's kind of sad how everyone is so cautious and wary of others just because of that devious 5% of the population. Those two guys hit shamelessly on girls, cheated their way onto courts, and cut in line for challenge courts (saw them do this over the summer). Because of guys like them, we have rules and sign-up slips just to ensure honesty.
People think that the loss of innocence results after sex or learning about sexual references, but here's what I think losing one's innocence really should mean.
Our parents, when we were children, read us stories that conveyed strong morals about life. We grew up with Disney fairy tales, where life was just peachy and ended happily ever after. The evil witches were always killed, the good guys always lived, and love stayed forever strong.
As I grew up, I stubbornly believed that there really are no bad people in the world. Misfits, maybe. Misunderstood, probably. But bad down to the core? Never.
No one will take my backpack if I set it down on this bench in the locker room for about two hours. No one will try to blatantly lie to others for their own benefit. People were read the same Aesop's fables that my parents read to me. We all have the same morals...
In freshman year, my backpack was riffled through when I left it in the locker room (don't remember why). Somebody took the $30 I needed to pay club fees. As a freshman, that was a lot of money to me. As a freshman, I was also naive and innocent. After that incident, I wondered why someone would have the nerve to steal from others if he/she had the same morals I did.
In 7th grade science class, my table exchanged our quiz papers with the adjacent table. The girl whose paper I corrected came quietly to me while the teacher was lecturing, and pointed out that I had miscorrected a question she had gotten wrong. I looked at it again. When I corrected it the first time, she had boldly circled the B when the answer was C. Looking closely at it, I saw a small, thoroughly-erased circle around the little B. I argued quietly that I was sure I had corrected it right, but she insisted that I must not have been paying attention. The teacher turned around and told us to stop talking.
I gave up and miserably gave the girl the point that she did not earn.
Granted, people are not necessarily bad down to the core. One thing I did learn, though... Life isn't fair. Life really isn't. Even when you stick to your morals, other people may not believe in them.
I lost my innocence when I gave up on the idea that people are always honest and good. Life isn't a fairytale, and good people don't always triumph. Watch my back, and remember to keep my pepper spray in my bag at all times. Bring my things to the restroom with me instead of leaving them out in the hall, and check that I still have my DSLR wherever I had placed it.
But do remember: 95% of people are good. Just watch out for that other 5%.
Of course if I phrase it like that, people are going to tell me to stick to what I want. However, if I did, that would be an incredibly selfish act. Doing what I want isn't necessarily the best choice. I would probably inconvenience and/or hurt other people.
In the end, is it best that I strive to make others happy, but reassure myself with a lie? Or should I be honest with myself at the risk of inconveniencing and harming others?
Just something running at the back of my mind.
++ I have to remind myself that 95% of the people in the world are honest good people. Encountering deceitful people certainly makes it seem like that deviant 5% of the population makes up the whole world.
At Smash City, I was reserving a court for Ian, Bryan, and Chris. Bryan had gone to change and the other two had gone to get water. I was standing on the court, practicing my serves, when two big Indian dudes came up to me.
I recognized them from the summer, when we came often to Smash City. I had played with them and their other friend before, and they'd cracked sick jokes that I awkwardly laughed off.
Awkward moment over the summer:
*Mustache dude points to short dude* "He said you would marry me if we win this match!" Thankfully that was the only time I played with them.
Anyway, they came up to me. Mustache dude pointed at the sign on the court: "Training is at 4:00. It's 4:30 now. Sorry, but this court is reserved for training."
"Oh?" I said, stupidly. "Okay...um..." And then I got off the court.
Which I really regret. I wish instead I'd stuck around and asked where their coach was, where their fellow trainees were, etc.
Sneaky, sly way to steal a court from a girl when the entire gym is packed. The validity of the sign made me believe the guys enough to get off the court, but as soon as I walked off, suspicion alarms went off in my head.
Anyway, a while after that, the two dudes spotted a better court next to the one they'd stolen from me. Mustache dude turned to me and said, "You can use the court now."
Thanks.
++ Why didn't I argue? I didn't want to raise a scene just for possession of a court. Besides, the two of them were huge and burly. I will just know better next time.
It's kind of sad how everyone is so cautious and wary of others just because of that devious 5% of the population. Those two guys hit shamelessly on girls, cheated their way onto courts, and cut in line for challenge courts (saw them do this over the summer). Because of guys like them, we have rules and sign-up slips just to ensure honesty.
People think that the loss of innocence results after sex or learning about sexual references, but here's what I think losing one's innocence really should mean.
Our parents, when we were children, read us stories that conveyed strong morals about life. We grew up with Disney fairy tales, where life was just peachy and ended happily ever after. The evil witches were always killed, the good guys always lived, and love stayed forever strong.
As I grew up, I stubbornly believed that there really are no bad people in the world. Misfits, maybe. Misunderstood, probably. But bad down to the core? Never.
No one will take my backpack if I set it down on this bench in the locker room for about two hours. No one will try to blatantly lie to others for their own benefit. People were read the same Aesop's fables that my parents read to me. We all have the same morals...
In freshman year, my backpack was riffled through when I left it in the locker room (don't remember why). Somebody took the $30 I needed to pay club fees. As a freshman, that was a lot of money to me. As a freshman, I was also naive and innocent. After that incident, I wondered why someone would have the nerve to steal from others if he/she had the same morals I did.
In 7th grade science class, my table exchanged our quiz papers with the adjacent table. The girl whose paper I corrected came quietly to me while the teacher was lecturing, and pointed out that I had miscorrected a question she had gotten wrong. I looked at it again. When I corrected it the first time, she had boldly circled the B when the answer was C. Looking closely at it, I saw a small, thoroughly-erased circle around the little B. I argued quietly that I was sure I had corrected it right, but she insisted that I must not have been paying attention. The teacher turned around and told us to stop talking.
I gave up and miserably gave the girl the point that she did not earn.
Granted, people are not necessarily bad down to the core. One thing I did learn, though... Life isn't fair. Life really isn't. Even when you stick to your morals, other people may not believe in them.
I lost my innocence when I gave up on the idea that people are always honest and good. Life isn't a fairytale, and good people don't always triumph. Watch my back, and remember to keep my pepper spray in my bag at all times. Bring my things to the restroom with me instead of leaving them out in the hall, and check that I still have my DSLR wherever I had placed it.
But do remember: 95% of people are good. Just watch out for that other 5%.
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