this week has been super super so far. a great week. school is funnish; i feel like i actually want to study and study and study. the people in my classes are cool. i have two people to tutor now, perhaps a third one. work is exhausting but the people are great and friendly. i got a customer compliment today :) the customer was standing in line for a super long time and watching me while i was busy with these two fussy people who bought lots of things. i was unusually bubbly at work. it just seemed so fun to be at work. geez, i feel weird. but its' cool being able to comprehend how to use the register. and things like that.

today i had work from 6-11pm. my feet hurt. ah, so tiring; i had to tutor at 9am, at this cozy little bakery/cafe called "le boulanger" in willow glen. my pupil was really bright, so it went by quickly. at the end, we were packing up, and this lady sitting near us asked for my contact info because she wanted a tutor too. lol. wow, i hope i don't get overwhelmed. tommy hilfiger is going to have a lot of hours now that the holiday season is here.

i am working 7:30am - 4pm on black friday and 4pm-10:30pm the saturday afterward. joy...not. lol. i'm looking forward to seeing how crazy it'll get. i looked at the projected sales for black friday and it's $97,204.00. crazy huh? a typical day, projected sales are like $2,000 (?) - $4,000.

i have a small hill of hw to complete and a lot to study. mm...i'm tired. but it's only like 12:30am.

OH YEAH, i forgot! :D :D :D my mom said that if i went to sleep before midnight every night for a certain allotted period of time, she would let me drive the car and GET INSURANCE. wootwootowootwooot. well, she made her decision because i suddenly started to get all these jobs and i was taking the bus to all of them. well, it'll suck sleeping before midnight.

awesome.

oh yeah, old pics, from a nice peaceful afternoon with curtis.

the worst thing about this week is that we haven't talked very much. like, one phone call and a few texts? and no IM's. so upset. such a change. marrs what would have been a near-perfect week. this week feels lonelier, i must admit.

okay okay, really tired now. lol. sleep.

c'est difficile.

J'ai pense que tu ne le veux pas, mais naturellement je n'ai pas voulu croire que c'est vraiment la verite. Quand tu le me dis, finalement j'ai du admettre a moi. Oui, c'est la verite... est elle n'est pas jolie. Comment est-ce que tu peux dire que tu m'aime, quand nous ne pouvons pas parler ensemble? Cette semaine, j'ai voulu beaucoup parler a toi. Je t'ai dit que je suis tres triste quand tu n'ai pas me telephone pour deux jours, parce que normalement nous parlons toujours en telephone. Un jour apres, tu n'as pas telephone. Pourquoi?

Oui, je suis ... heureuse que tu me la dit. C'est la verite, n'est-ce pas? Alors, qu'est-ce que tu veux que je fais? Qu'est-ce que tu faisait? C'est normalement... nous n'avons pas la meme ecole. Mais j'ai espere que tu veux me parler toujours, parce que nous ne pouvons pas nous voir comme la derniere annee. Alors, tu ne pense pas que c'est triste que tu n'aime pas parler avec moi en la portable?

Tu m'as dit que tu veux me voir et sortir ensemble....mais comment est-ce que nous pouvons continuer si nous n'avons pas de communication reguliere?

choices

I had an amusante jour avec Curtis today. no details :P No pics either, I didn't have my camera. :(

Anyway, on the way back from SC, I was thinking about what I should major/minor in! I mean, of course I'm going to major in graphic design, but then what about double majoring? Or double minoring? I'd love to work for a magazine!! Either writing or designing is fine. But then I'd also love to do work for a design firm. Or work in the sociology field. Or as a teacher. SO MANY OPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Majors/minors I'm considering:

1. Graphic Design, BA or BFA
2. Mass Communications/Journalism
3. Sociology
4. Psychology
5. And teacher's credentials...dunno what specifications

SO MANY CHOICES!!!!! Sucks!!!! Maybe I can be a super-super-super senior. I don't mind not graduating with my class. Well, I don't mind now; I might mind later. lol.

Anyway, PEOPLE (COUGH) have been pressuring me to get a new racket, like the armortec or the whatever new one is called. Arcsaber? Sounds very.... uh... Inuyasha. Supposedly my old racket doesn't let me smash hard enough.

I don't know. I mean, of course I want to do better in badminton.. and smash harder! No one wants to play lower than their potential. But I've had my current silver racket for so long. It's been with me through the tough times: league finals, ccs, three years of varsity :( I even kiss it!!!! And paint it with nail polish after it's been painfully chipped. How can I give it up for a newer, shinier, more famous, worshipped, powerful, cliched-name racket?

This reminds me of Harry Potter! He was entitled to the most powerful and sought-after wand, but he chose his trusty and faithful old wand over that one.

But then again, change is good, right?

I don't know!!!

daredevil

I'm so picky with designing my layout. I spent my three hours in the Tech center on Wednesday night working on the blog layout instead of working on Excel. hehehehehe. It was so fun. Every time I looked up, another hour had passed by. I kept rearranging things, recoloring, etc... ugh, the whole thing looked so wrong for like an hour until I deleted ONE single little detail. Then suddenly everything fit together. Weird. Anyway, I have to go and remember how to make a webpage with HTML... ugh.



Today I went to UCSC to visit Curtis! hehheh. I took bus 25 (the bus driver looked like wang lee hom...) to the lightrail and then the lightrail to Diridon, and then bus 17 to SC. On the way, we passed by the Lexington (?) reservoir, which is really no longer a reservoir anymore..just dried up dirt.



Anyway!! I climbed tree 9 with Curtis and his roommates. It's basically this really tall tree with lots of bare branches sticking out. The branches are really smooth, so it's kind of scary when you're trying to grip on it with your shoes. AND IT GOES SO HIGH!! did I mention that yet? I was supposed to go up after Curtis and his roommates, but I couldn't make it past the top of the ladder...lol.. so sad. Luckily Shawn (?) didn't go up either, heehee. He went halfway up and told me to tell everybody that he climbed up to the top of the ladder. lol. I hung around waiting for Curtis and everybody else to come back down.

After they left, Curtis pushed me to go back up again. And I really did want to go back up; after all, it's not every day you get to climb a tree that's more perfect for climbing. omg. I felt like I was going to die up there. One slip on a branch and you could go crashing down through the branches and onto the HARD ground. Or break your neck. Or your back. (I'm getting chills right now, geez.) I only got 3/4 of the way to the top before I gave up (stupid Curtis reached the top twice today. It's okay, I still love you). On the way down, I got really freaked out--because basically you're finding your footing on the branch below you, while staring down at the ground that's FARRR far down--and started informing Curtis of the contents of my nonexistant will. Once we reached the ground = sweet safety.

But that was fun. I'd like to climb the tree again!! And actually reach the top... but for now I'll just be satisfied with going 3/4 the way.

I got to thinking. I never really noticed, but "daredevil" is exactly what it means: daring the devil to come, or tempting death by doing dangerous things. like climbing the tree!

On the ride home, two things happened:

1) Bus 17 broke down, so we had to wait for another bus to come sweep us back to San Jose,

and

2) There was a dude on the bus wearing makeup and a french maid outfit complete with tights....

lol. I admire his bravery for going out in that ensemble, but if I were him, I would be afraid of getting jumped. Truly daring.

a fresh start.

I think it's time to retire my xanga account for now. I've written in it -- sporadically-- ever since the summer before high school freshman year. Why did I change?

Five days after I turned 8 years old, I promised to myself in my new Betty Boop journal that I would write every day. Every single day. That way, I could look back on myself and reflect on past events that I might have forgotten without the aid of my journal. It was such a novel idea, but...

Yeah. Now I'm really regretting it. I'm an adult now, and what I have of my early childhood are my fading memories and sparse posts in my three thin journals. Of course, I started getting lazy and jumped on the xanga bandwagon to type my posts.

I'm hoping that I'll post here constantly during my college years--maybe the switch to a new blog will seem like a fresh start and inspire me to post, instead of continuing something old and stale. I love having something to look back on. You know that memory jolt you have when you read over an old journal entry and suddenly recall the event in perfect detail? Such a nostalgia instigator.

1) "April 7, 1999

HI DIARY,
Did I tell you we were moving? No. Well, we are. I am going to miss this house so much. The new house has stairs, a chandelier, and some bedrooms downstairs...I'm gonna turn 9!"

Wow... almost a whole decade ago. I haven't imagined my house as "new" in a while.. kinda gives a new perspective.

2) "May 14, 1999

Dear Diary,
Today my sister and I walked home. This lady named Michelle Ma was hired by Mama. (Not to mention crazy, weird, stinky, and hyper.) Michelle forgot to pick us up. We got out of class at 2:30, and we waited till 4:00! Still no sign of her! So we went to the office & called Mama, but we talked to her answering machine instead. So we started to walk. We went to Dairy Belle and bought a small cone of vanilla...we started walking again. I shared the vanilla with my sister. I think I got her cold. We visited the creek, and IT WAS WONDERFUL! We skipped some rocks, then climbed back up the ledge.
I forgot to tell you, yesterday Diane saw this diary. I said, "I don't care. I'm hiding it again!"
And boy, was I sad after the day of the walking. I lost my sweatshirt! It was wrapped around my waist one moment, the other, it was GONE!! That was my favorite sweatshirt!"

Some angst..

3) LOL I LOVE THIS ONE!

"May 5, 2002

Dear Diary,
Diane got mad at me bc I wrinkled her paper she worked on for 15 min. It was an accident. I apologized for 4 times. She yelled at me and screamed "Stupid brat" 'What a use of paper" "Idiot". Me--"I said I was sorry!" I HATE HER [something unintelligible]!!!!!!!!! SHE IS ALWAYS GETTING MAD AT ME? I ALWAYS FORGIVE HER, I GIVE HER STUFF, I APOLOGIZE, SHE DOESN'T! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS???? On Friday (today is Saturday), [insert name] yelled at me. I just wanted help on my computer! What kind of friend is she? What kind of sister is Diane?"

Diane is so completely different now it's scary. lol. Actually like 60% of my diary entries were about Diane: "Fart your butt diane!!!!! [insert crude hand-drawn picture of butt]"

4) This one is a little weird.

"September 13, 2003

Dear Diary,
Back-to-School Night was so fun. I had a great time as a WEB leader, and I even got to stand in front of Mrs. Johnson's classroom and tell the parents what we were doing in the class, since Mrs. Johnson wasn't there.
Today is Volunteering Day for Leadership class. Downtown San Jose. I wonder what will happen?"

Incidentally, that night my grandma passed away.

5) And finally, a series of excerpts from nice and embarrassing posts (this is for you, Curtis):

"October 15, 2004 [EXACTLY FOUR YEARS!]
Ricky, Curtis, and Stanley introduced me to Gunbound. It's hecka fun! It adds to the fun when Curtis plays with us too."

"November 6, 2004
I'm starting to think that maybe it would have been better if Curtis and I were never friends.
I do still like him.
I feel sad when he implies that he doesn't like me.
I don't want to feel like this..."

"November 8, 2004
Today we were chatting on AIM--me, Curtis, Sarah, and Vinson--and playing Truth or Dare. Vinson asked me: Who do you like more, Curtis, Andrew, or Ricky? ...[Curtis] volunteered to leave the chatroom, but I put something mild for him: "He's weird but cool :)" How could I say what I really felt? Did Curtis think that I still liked him? How could I say...that his apologies and refusal hurt me so much...how could I say that deep down, I still liked him?
I did this [e-mail] forward thing. "First Love" by Utada Hikaru matched up with Curtis. Omg, is that true?"

And yes, I did save the best and most embarrassing for last, even though it precedes the others chronologically:

"June 4, 2004
Dear Diary,
Today at the 8th grade dance, I told Curtis that I liked him.
GASP!!!!!!!
He said "um, um..." and had a smile on his face. (He looked so cute!)
Then I felt my voice break.
I finished with an "Um, I just wanted to tell you that before school ended" then walked away. I met Jasmin and Jenny and they asked if I did it. I said, "I kinda" and repeated his reaction. Then I have no idea why, but I started to cry a little.
Later, Jenny told me that Curtis was blushing big time. I was so relieved that I told him.
Tonight was just wonderful.
I wonder what Curtis is thinking now?
He looked so cute!"

HAHAHA!!!! omg....

And I shall end this entry here, even though I have a lot more I want to say...but seriously, how can you resist ending on that last diary entry???