where's the integrity?

Tiring, exhausting day! I've already finished dinner and it's only 6pm. Today had its high and low points... especially low points.

I'd stayed up to 4am editing my photos and whatnot. Today was my printing slot and I was the very first one in the class to print, and surprisingly my pictures turned out pretty well. Even my "tough love" photo teacher told me my prints looked great. I'm pleased. I wasn't pleased at 4am though... I'd tried to move all 110+ photos (even the edited ones) to a CD because that was part of the assignment. Moving everything took about 15+ minutes. However... as soon as it finished, Windows announced that there was an error with the pictures. My heart sank. I looked at the folder on my computer, and it was completely empty because I'd just moved all the pictures in it to the CD. I clicked on the CD... it was completely empty because of the error. I freaking panicked for a minute, but luckily I'd made backups. THANK GOODNESS. I still lost a substantial amount of photos (about 30 or 40), but I have most of them still. I'd kept my five edited pictures open in Photoshop, so they weren't lost. THANK GOODNESS!!!! Those were the ones I was most worried about.

For 2D, we had to expand a square. I totally started this at 11pm and finished at 12:30am. :) My first one was pretty nasty, so I started over and did another one. Much better! It got a pretty positive reception during critique today, so I'm happy.

But... while we were painting squares for the value scale, I got a text from Francis. He said that he'd checked on my bike (I'd left it on campus, locked next to Dudley Moorhead) and the seat was gone... and did I have it? Dismay hit me... shootles. I'd had too much faith in the integrity of mankind and assumed that no one would touch my bike. I mean, if I hadn't had my bike locked, of course I would expect it to be stolen. However, I wouldn't expect someone to like, steal the seat of my bike... Too much faith.

While I'm on the topic of integrity, I'd like to talk about something that disturbed me this weekend. Someone I know picked up and kept two items that weren't his, because supposedly they had been "left behind." When his motives were questioned on two separate occasions, he answered 1) "Because someone took my birds, so I'm taking this tube in retribution" and 2) "Because I've always wanted a bag like this." Personally, I was more than a little disgusted. Why?

1) You don't know who took your tube, yet you chose to punish someone (who is most likely innocent) by taking his half-full tube. Furthermore, you stated that your tube only had one bird in it. Why is that grounds for taking someone else's tube? What if someone stole a half-tube of birds from you?

2) You picked up someone else's bag and kept it for yourself? I don't exactly know the situation behind this, so I don't know if you found the bag empty or not. I don't know where you found it--it could have been in the trashcan or on the floor next to someone's badminton bag. I'm thinking that most likely someone accidentally left it behind. Instead of trying to find the owner or giving it to the tournament director for lost and found purposes, you kept it to satiate your own desires.

3) I would just like to rant about one more thing. I'm really cranky from lack of sleep right now, so maybe that's why I'm so rant-y today. Anyway, I digress.

You need to CHILL. If I am giving you a freaking ride, speeding and driving dangerously in order to get YOU somewhere in time for YOUR benefit, I do not need to hear you cursing and complaining in the backseat while I: a) slow for red lights, b) accidentally take a wrong turn, c) want to pull over to check the gps, d) brake to avoid a collision. I am NOT your chauffeur, nor are you even paying me. I am doing you a freaking favor. If you don't like the ride (and you don't appreciate that I'm doing you a favor), then you can get out because I will NOT be driving you anymore. Furthermore, and probably most importantly. I will NOT listen to you when I am in the furthest left-turning lane and you're telling me to go straight. Are you crazy? If you want to drive recklessly, drive your own freaking self. Don't try to tell me to do something illegal, stupid, and dangerously reckless just to get your butt warmed up for a better chance of winning your games. That is just so incredibly selfish.

I really doubt you will read this and I am honestly not too sure if I want you to read this because you'll probably get all butt-hurt, but I want you to realize how idiotic you were.

Anyway, enough of that. But on a similar topic... badminton. Badminton warms my heart :) The tournament on Saturday was so incredibly fun. Trevor and I got to D mixed semifinals and C mixed quarters. Unfortunately he had sprained his ankle and I couldn't really cover him haha. I made him bring his sleeping bag because I wanted to use it, but I was actually very wide awake during the tourney :( sorrrry! Truman and I just used it to sit on to watch games. haha.

Jenny and I unexpectedly played C women's doubles, and got 2nd. Not much of a victory because a lot of girls dropped out of C's out of sheer exhaustion, but still! It was pretty awesome. I think when I get really warmed up, I can jump smash a bit. I've always wanted to jump smash :D I just don't think I'm getting the form right, haha. Oh well. As long as the smash is angled and fast, I'm happy.

On Friday, we're completing more challenges for the SJSU club. Leo and I have some more mixed matches to go because it's double elimination. Eva and I are #2 for doubles, and I hope Leo and I can get #2 or #3 for mixed! This Saturday is a dual-meet against Berkeley, and I know they're going to be tough... oh well. More experience!

Anyway... on a negative note. My mom told me that my dad got laid off today, and I was really shocked. I just hadn't been expecting it. We'll be okay for a while because of savings and whatnot, but I don't want to drag us down with unnecessary expenses. I'll manage my finances better and try to cut down on expenses, I guess. Oh, I must find a job!

Some Myspace hate!

I haven't been on Myspace for a very, very long time. When I logged into my old Myspace account very recently, I rediscovered the many reasons I'd left Myspace.

1. The slutty profile pictures.

It's so weird, but people's profile pictures seem so much more self-respecting and civilized on Facebook. Maybe because Myspace has a more anonymous air than Facebook's? Well, one day I was at MLK in the teen center (heh heh) because there were available computers. Anyway, I glance over at the girl next to me. She seems pretty nondescript; she's dressed in gray sweats and little makeup. It's not her appearance that shocks me; it's her Myspace profile that's open on the screen. Classy picture, that girl has; a compromising pose for the camera, with cleavage spilling out of a very tiny tube top. Gobs of makeup--hot pink lips, heavy eyeliner, spider lashes--the works. I know it's her profile and not someone else's because she's replying to someone's wall post.

Yes, I know I was staring for a very long time. I couldn't help it; I was basically pretty shocked. Could this seemingly innocent girl next to me really be the whored-out poser in that Myspace profile picture?

To be fair, there are Myspace users who don't post compromising pictures of themselves for the entire world to see... but no one can argue that there aren't a huge number of slutty Myspace profile pictures out there.

2. The shirtless mirror shots.

Obviously this one applies to guys. What is with dirty spotted mirrors and camera-wielding shirtless guys?

Guys don't post up these pics for incoming compliments concerning their manly musculature. Of course not!

It's such a total turn-off. Personally I have never seen one of these in a Facebook profile pic... it seems to be just a disgusting Myspace trend.

3. The viruses.

This was probably the last straw for me. You know the type--your "friend" sends you a link to something really cool, you click on it, and your computer gets infected. In my senior year, so many people's myspaces got hacked that I didn't even want to check my wall comments anymore.


Ugh, there are so many more reasons, but I'm too lazy to write about them all. Haha. These three were just annoying me recently.

I detest Chinatown.

Before anyone accuses me of going against my roots, I would like to explain.

Perhaps "detest" is too strong of a word... but it would be equally apt to say that I'm extremely averse to Chinatown.

Perhaps I just had a bad experience in Chinatown today...but it seems that most of my experiences have not been on the positive side. I'm usually happy and relieved whenever my family and I depart Chinatown. Perhaps it's because I'm ABC (American-born Chinese), but whatever it is, this is why I can't stand SF Chinatown:

1) The smell and sanitary conditions.

What more can I say? Anyone who has ever been in Chinatown would know what I'm talking about. It's this pervasive, sewer-drain, rotting-meat-in-the-sun, bad-breath odor. Plus, the streets are so dirty. People hack up their spit all over, and there are all sorts of bits of trash strewn about. Years back, I tried to sit on the sidewalk because I was so tired from walking and standing for hours, but my dad told me not to because of all the germs and nastiness and spit and snot and stuff. Yeah.

2) The crowds.

Chinatown is crowded, crowded, crowded. There are people shoving, people cutting in front of others, people showing blatant disregard for traffic regulations, people jostling through crowds... Okay, personally, I hate crowds. Chinatown probably has some of the most crowded streets at optimum traffic time than most.

3) The noise.

Traffic is so bad that people are always honking at each other. And, whatever happened to the guy who kept yelling HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY? He was a little annoying, but funny. Plus he made a good landmark whenever I couldn't tell where I was. Haha. Well, he's gone now, but the noise level is still pretty high... Then there're the portly shop ladies/men who rearrange vegetables and simultaneously scream (at the top of their well-developed lungs) their low, low prices. This is kind of funny watching them, but the main things I really can't stand about Chinatown are:

4) The rude people.

I find that most Asian establishments are like this (99 Ranch, I'm looking at you): lacking in customer service and leaning more toward low prices. Understandable when the price of produce is 1/4 of Safeway's, I guess. It just sucks when I greet and thank the cashier, and she doesn't even look at me--just keeps glaring with a slightly harassed expression on her face. I asked my dad, and he said that's because of the bad working conditions. Understandable as well, I suppose... it's just that this world would be so much nicer with some courtesy. I mean, I can sort of relate to them. When I worked at 99 Ranch, my boss would yell at me for no apparent reason. Little story: When I was training at the register, I had my sheaf of produce+meat codes with me so I could commit them to memory. However, my boss sent someone over to tell me that if I didn't put away my study packet, my boss would immediately stop training me and fire me. Humiliating and degrading. She could have come over quietly and asked me not to use the packet to help me study... but instead she pointed out my supposed wrongdoing to a co-worker and made her warn me. Not logical; if I didn't have the packet, I couldn't check whether or not I was making a mistake with the codes.

Another story: My boss was testing me on the code for a certain type of cucumber. There were three types to memorize and I memorized them by their distinctive sizes. I still remember them: 5051, 5052, and 5053. Anyway, she holds up a bag of cucumbers and I punch in 5051. She says, in her harsh clipped way, "No! Is 5053." I am very sure that the type of cucumber is 5051, and I try to respond modestly (she is my boss, after all): "Are you sure? I'm pretty sure those are 5051." My boss turns to the assistant manager and they both laugh at me. "Who's been here longer than you have? Who manages the front?" they mock. Anyway, after degrading me for a bit longer, they take a closer look and realize that I was right. No apology, nothing.

Asian people are hard, hard bosses; this can lead to some pretty deplorable working conditions. When I started as a freshly trained employee, I tried to kickstart some feelings of courtesy into the Asian cashier reputation. I had noticed that my fellow cashiers, unlike say Safeway's cashiers, barely greeted the customers. Customer service can go a long way into brightening someone's day, at least a little bit, by greeting them and chatting them up a bit. I actually made a few customer friends at 99 Ranch. Weird but true. There was one 20-ish guy who came with his parents, and the parents would try to matchmake us. So awkward, but it certainly broke the monotony of listless customers who expect zero interaction with the Asian cashiers.

Ugh, another story just popped into my head. So one day, after I got a bit further into my training, I was working the register with one of the older ladies. She was a meeeeaaaan one. If you go to 99 Ranch, she's the one with a perpetual scowl on her face, long hair tied with a scrunchy at the nape of her neck, and curly-ish bangs. Anyway, I don't exactly remember the details, but I made a pretty minor mistake (I think it involved bagging, or receipts... don't remember exactly). She smacked me on the shoulder and told me I was a stupid, stupid girl, then turned away disgustedly. I was soooo pissed off after that, I glared at the customers the rest of the day. So I guess I can't really blame the shop employees in Chinatown for horrible customer service... if I had been treated better, I would give better customer service. Not all the cashier ladies are horrible, though; my favorite was a nice older lady named Angela and she still works there. She has short cropped hair, wrinkles, smiling crinkly eyes, and solemn lips that have a trace of a smile around them. She was playful and always nice to me even when I messed up, and if I had a hard day of training, she'd still have a knowing smile and a laugh for me at the end of the day. Sounds so cheesy but it's true. I was just at 99 Ranch last week at Ivy's line, and Angela noticed me and smacked my butt in recognition. Haha. The customers weren't so friendly to us in return, so maybe that was a factor in our lack of customer service... which brings me to another point.

5) The rude customers.

Anyway, Diane and my dad were standing outside a shop today, waiting for my mom to emerge. I go in to hand my mom her jacket and carry groceries for her. The shop is just STUFFED to the corners with people. As I follow my mom out, I'm stopped by a wall of people. I gingerly ease my way through them the best I can, trying hard not to shove into anyone. Well apparently I failed. As I'm going through the crowd, I feel someone leaning on me for a protracted period of time. I turn around to see a middle-aged woman staggering backwards. She turns around and, glaring, starts yelling about people violently shoving her and knocking her over. Then I realize she's glaring at me! I run over the past few seconds in my mind: I hadn't particularly shoved anyone, unless you count brushing by them in an attempt to get through. Then I think: what about my bag? I had sideswiped people before, unknowingly, because of a big bag I'd wear over my shoulder. I check myself: my bag is on my left shoulder and not my right. The woman and her friend are on my right. So had I really just shoved her? I gaze in confusion at them. Maybe I just hadn't noticed, so I stammer an apology. The woman is still loudly and indignantly explaining to her friend about how I had shoved her and made her lose her balance. I decide, thanks to my broken Chinese, that it's not worth standing there and trying to make her understand that I didn't knock into her intentionally, so I shake my head and leave.

Incidentally, that's also why I dislike Chinatown, though it's more my fault:

6) The language issues.

So Diane and I went to a cafe place for cheap milk tea. I asked Diane to make the order for me since she can speak clearer Chinese than I can. She refused, so I decided, Hey. I can speak Chinese too. I know the words. This is what happened: Confident, I stride over to the counter and ask for pearl milk tea. The employee repeats my order. I nod happily and add, "No ice please." Well, apparently we had some communication issues. I had phrased my latter request like this: "Mo bing." Instead of "No ice," she heard "Red bean dessert" ("Hong bing"). So, she gives me two drinks: pearl milk tea and the red bean ice thingie. Diane and I look at them in confusion, and she sets out trying to explain that I just wanted the pearl milk tea. The employees look at each other in confusion, and we resort to crude sign language. Finally, the disgruntled employee whisks away the red bean ice, slams it on the inside counter opposite of the cash register, and barks out the price for just the milk tea. After I pay and thank her, she turns away in a huff. Diane reprimands me for not having spoken clearly enough -- I should have said "I don't want ice" instead of "No ice."

Admittedly this is partly my fault for my crude Chinese, but I couldn't help comparing this milk tea experience to one I would have had at a Quickly in San Jose. All right, so I've never had to correct a miscommunicated order at Quickly... but I have had good enough customer service from that place to state this, with assurance: That mistake would have been rectified quickly and respectfully, with a smile and a "No problem." Then again, I have to give those employees the benefit of the doubt; it was nearing the end of the workday and I don't know if they were working in deplorable conditions or not.


All in all, the only appealing factors about Chinatown are its cheap prices and sentimental connections. But then again... I would rather spend the extra money on having an enjoyable shopping experience in (clean, friendly) Safeway or elsewhere other than Chinatown.

plastic beer cups

Plastic beer cups are so incredibly tacky.

Now that my friends and I are in college, I'm seeing more and more of them attend parties where there's beer and alcohol and red beer cups. It's so trashy. I mean, I'll be on Facebook and they'll have uploaded party pictures of them or something, and there're a whole line of beer cups all behind them and cans of beer strewn around, or stacked up. Are these really the people I knew in high school? The ones that I gossiped with in high school about people drinking and doing drugs and getting suspended/expelled... and now they're doing the same thing, minus the getting expelled part? It's like, Oh, I'm in college and now I must go along with my college buddies and start drinking. I mean, no offense meant, but I find that so incredibly lame and juvenile. I know people who don't WANT to drink at first, but their friends "are all doing it" so they feel that they must, in order not to look like they're "nerds" or "wusses."

LAME.

Grow a freaking set and be firm on what you want and what you don't. It's your own body; it's your own mind. Be proud of them and don't let other people undermine you just because they want you to get wasted too, or do other stupid things.

Okay, yes, I'll admit it. I'm a prude. I can't tolerate (underage) drinking, smoking, drugs, premarriage sex, extreme profanity, etc. I don't care. Call me whatever you want; this is my stance. I find it ridiculous how people my age will succumb to marijuana and drinking parties just because their friends do.

Whenever I hear that one of my friends was drinking, or I see a drunken picture of them at a classic plasticredbeercups party, I can't help but feel a twinge of disrespect for them, like a "WHAT in the world are you thinking? Are you the same person I used to know, or just following the crowd?"

In elementary school, everybody was taught to be "Drug/alcohol/whatever free, that's me!" I remember when my second grade (or third? or fourth? I forgot) class was scheduled to do a clean-up of the playground area, Carole and I found a cigarette butt in the tanbark. We ran to our teacher and pointed it out, because we thought it was a crazy-dangerous thing- someone was smoking on the playground! Then there were all those times we tied red ribbons to the fence to symbolize that we were drug-free. Crazy how much of a contrast our mindsets were, compared to now, isn't it?

/rant

a cold, rainy week

I've been having an absolutely horrible week and it's only Tuesday. I can only hope that the rest of the week will perk up, but it's just hope.

It is really hard trying to please everyone. I just can't do it, even though I want to. It gets pretty darn stressful, especially when one of them is a very influential person...yes, my mom. When she gets angry, she likes to make derogative assumptions and comparisons. The more they sting, the better. Soon they get into unforgivable territory--the insults that really stick, the ones that really hamper your self-esteem and personal wellbeing. I keep a passive, neutral expression on my face. She only wants a reaction, but she's not going to get it. It's just that this week, I've been receiving a constant barrage of negativity, not only from my mom.

He and I are having problems, but I don't know if we both have the strength to overcome them.

I can't please everyone.

I like to immerse myself in the beauty of soft piano music. Music doesn't hurt. I would like to fix our old, sagging piano so I can actually play something nice. I am currently working on a beautiful song by Yiruma, which is called River Flows in You. I thought it would be hard but it's very flowing and repetitive, so I'm getting it down.

Today I got a hot tapioca milk tea from Quickly. The guy spent a while trying to put on the cap, and then came over and told me to be careful because the cap was falling off. I picked up the cup and the lid popped off. Oh well...they must be out of the right size of lids for a large cup. I told the guy it was okay, and left. On the way to the bus, my bag slipped from my shoulders, jolting my hand that was clutching the cup. The lid flew off and hot liquid spewed over my fingers. I refused to lose my milk tea, however, and quickly laid down my umbrella and burning cup onto the ground. I transferred the milk tea to my thermos. Lovely. The burned fingers were worth saving my delicious milk tea, and the pearls were yummy as always.

It's been a very trying week, but I've got some pictures from last week to share.

...nvm. blogger uploader isn't working.

Well, my sociology class is always a bit of a laugh...especially last Thursday's session and today's. Last Thursday the prof didn't show up at all, and today we were gathered in the classroom for today's session. The class is supposed to start at 12:00pm. At 12:15, another professor rushes in and announces to us all that our professor is stuck in traffic 10 miles up on 680, and requests another 15 minutes (we are supposed to wait a max.of 15 minutes for a prof who has a doctoral degree) to get here. He mutters something about putting on some cartoons for us, and exits the room. About two minutes later, the TA strolls in and says that the prof "just woke up and wants to tell you guys that he's not coming." We were all like...what????? lol. craziness.